I still haven't identified a therapist yet. In the meantime, I feel like I am on him lately about every little thing he does that displeases me.

For example, last night he took me out for dinner. At dinner, I was talking about my college girlfriend with whom I had scheduled a phone date to finally catch up and talk. She lives across the country. So I was talking about her, and ended up feeling sad afterwards, in acknowledging that several of my closest college girlfriends live across the country and out of state and that I really missed them. We got in the car to drive home, and I was feeling really sad that I cannot see these particular girlfriends and that I infrequently am able to see my friends altogether. He has a huge group of friends living nearby, but I do not. Mine are all scattered, and I don't have a "group". I have a collection of individual friends, but no actual group to hang out with. We see his friends fairly regularly, and I rarely am able to see my own friends, typically due to scheduling conflicts. So I was sad.

Well, I told him I was feeling sad, and while in the car and in response he tells me, Ok, now let's only talk about rainbows, puppy dogs and kittens, meaning happy things. I felt cut off and dismissed as a result.

So I told him this. I told him I need him to sit with me when I am feeling down... that life is not all puppy dogs, rainbows and kittens right now. That life kind of sucks right now. He ended up telling me that he had had a very long work day and couldn't take any more.

So basically, I wasn't getting my needs met. I wanted to talk about it, and I wanted his sympathies and attention. I felt discouraged as a result, and dismissed.

So now I am wondering: can he really be there for me and give me what I need emotionally? He is often like this when he's had a very stressful day at work. But I need to feel supported too. I support him and give him my sympathy and attention all the time. He gives me a limited amount of time, then he wants to change the subject to something happier or more positive. It's like he cannot tolerate a sad or upsetting topic for very long because he's on overload.

It's a question in my mind now. I also wonder if I need TOO much. I do need a lot of emotional support, and I have no way to measure or know if I need too much from a partner. Maybe it's too much for him, in particular.

On the plus side, he did not react in anger. He took my feedback in stride, whereas previously, he would have reacted defensively and with anger or frustration.