Quote:
Originally Posted by guy1111
I agree that sad topics shouldn't dominate a date night, but sarcastic remarks like "puppy dogs and rainbows" are inappropriate as well. He could have listened, empathized, then changed the subject to something positive going on in his life or the world around him. This is a learned behavior of his that can be broken if he is willing.
Most likely he was thinking that the date was too depressing and if he can't lighten the mood himself, he could tell you politely that he was hoping for a more upbeat night and that his expectations were dashed.
It sounds like you are willing to take that advice here in the forums without getting defensive, so I would imagine you could do the same with him if he approched you with love.
If you get to couples therapy, consider bringing up sarcasm. It's a poor front for hidden anger. I used to struggle with using sarcasm myself. It's fun to rib my guy friends at work with sarcasm, but in a relationship, it's never a good idea in my opinion.
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Thanks, guy.
To clarify, I didn't make dinner depressing. I talked about funny stories of my girlfriend mainly, and at the end of dinner, I mentioned that I felt sad because I haven't seen much of my friends.
Then I mentioned it a second time in the car on the drive home. So it's not like I made dinner totally depressing.... I got sad at the end of my story telling.
Also, his tone wasn't one of sarcasm. He wanted me to change the subject. And he does this often when he's had enough of what I am talking about, IF it is a sad or upsetting topic. It's not like I go on and on and on forever, or as though i am constantly talking about sad or negative things. Not at all. BUT WHEN I DO, he cannot listen to it for very long, he wants to change the subject & limits me on how much I can say and talk about when it comes to those topics. I don't always feel fully emotionally supported as a result. Which is not to say he cannot be supportive at all - he can be. But it doesn't come easily or naturally to him like it does for me. And especially when he's had a long and stressful work day is when his limit is reached more quickly. Even on the weekends though, he wants to avoid any and all stressful topics.
Sometimes I feel I cannot be totally real with him.