I’m revering in things.

I got an early birthday present. Gosh ima be 30... Man fck. I’m just scared cuz I thought I was supposed to have everything in line by 30. I worry more about my lack of accomplishments than I do how I look. I feel like everything is a deadline when it comes to age. I guess cuz my parents kinda indirectly said that. My dads like “if you don’t goto a college, it may be too late”. And my moms like “if you don’t lose all that weight by 30, your body is gonna go downhill after that”. And just other stuff.



Got these, too, for my birthday. Kitty ears gaming headset and the ears can be turned different colors.

Also, just idk. I’m happy lately but I’m sad. I was reading about a Caucasian rapper, Logic, who is retiring because he has a young infant son now. One of his last songs before retirement talked about how he’s accomplished all this stuff but he’s still a very sad person. How he’s had loads of money, fame, respect and he’s still quite sad. And I can relate so much. Not with fame or even a lot of respect, but money yes, from how I grew up. Fame? Maybe local fame. And some respect on my name through my small accomplishments. But all in all, I’m still a baseline sad person. Always have been. Always have been that person chasing the next high in the form of accomplishments. Getting accomplishments are my drug of choice. If that makes sense. Risk-taking behavior but in the form of bettering myself, with each new thing one step above the last. Idk how to explain.