|
Ugh. Yuck.
"Aww..." has NO place in quality therapy. I mean that. Pity is about the therapist, not the client. And here is how I know.
I was a therapist for 30 years with excellent training and supervisors. I have also been in therapy with at least half a dozen folks.
There are so many ways to convey empathy and understanding that do not require the client to pause and think about the therapist's feelings. This is not the client's job.
There is one type of person who trains as a therapist: someone who has been through stuff. There are 2 types of folks who emerge to practice: those who've dealt with their stuff and those who haven't. The latter do the "aww" stuff as if that's being compassionate when it's just a well-meaning but incompetent reaction that does nothing to advance the healing. The former convey that they are right with you in a myriad creative ways that never get in the way of your process.
Go ahead and ask her about it. But ponder whether her response is just the same more about her than you. And never settle.
|