I'm sorry you're so triggered...I'd definitely talk about it with T1.

So I have two thoughts. One is the idea mentioned above that you're triggered about working with her because she's a woman. Maybe not just that she's a woman, but you said she had seemed very kind and gentle in the waiting room--could that be triggering you for some reason? Like, were you maybe hurt by a female who seemed very kind and gentle? Or do you not feel you deserve to be treated that way by someone? Or, I think you mentioned at some point that you wear more masculine clothes at times. Does she seem particularly feminine or "girly"? Could that maybe trigger you? Or else just really put together? I had some issues with that with ex-T, where she seemed very polished and pulled together and I...wasn't. (OK, that was multiple thoughts in one.)


The other thought is, that this is leading to abandonment fears about T1, that you fear he's trying to pawn you off on her and it feels like a rejection.

Does any of that seem to ring true at all? Just throwing stuff out there.