The problem with pity for me was a deep and early belief that I was broken, flawed. Pitying responses from therapists only re enforced that mistaken internal belief which kept me stuck and feeling hopeless, so that kind of response really was pretty damaging. What I did need to learn is to understand my own thoughts that came out of my trauma experiences so that I could see the connections and correct that belief. Correcting that idea that I was damaged and broken would eventually lead to greater confidence and resilience.