I have to say that hospitalization was not the cure all for me. I ended up with trauma memories associated with the hospital. Not that some good hasn't come out of it because I managed with some help to overcome some pretty self damaging behavior since being hospitalized, but being hospitalized did definitely make things worse, particularly for a while. I have a hard time on the anniversary date of my hospitalization. I don't seem to have the same problem with the anniversary dates of my prior suicide attempts. So that says something.

I've never been PHP or IOP so I can't speak to those. I've just had outpatient and inpatient care. I much prefer outpatient.


I'm sorry you are still feeling bad. Do you have an outpatient therapist you can talk to? Are you on any medications? Sometimes these things help. Sometimes not. It is good that you have a goal of wanting to be a social worker at an ER. That is a good goal to have and it is noble of you to want to help others. I applaud you. I'm sorry your depression is worse than ever and that you are in a manic and depressive cycle. Do you have bipolar disorder? My Mom has that. I have Schizoaffective disorder--depressed type, ADHD, Autism spectrum, and GAD.


I hope you find some relief and support.
Hang in there.
HUGS if wanted
Kit