I don't see it as pity or her feeling sorry for you. Just compassion for the crap that happened to that small child.

There's a difference between pity and empathy or validation of one's pain. I know I would prefer some sort of compassion from T rather than a blank wall whenever I expressed pain or a crap experience.

Each to their own I guess, so if it bothers you, tell her. For me, I world say 'lucky you' that someone shows some caring and compassion.