I have gone through times where I'm not social either. When we forecast that people will reject us before we even try, it's because we've been rejected and feel we deserve it, and we rationalize why we deserve it.

Rationalizations seem so true in the moment. Some I've used on myself are, "I don't want to go to the store, everyone will see the pimple on my chin". Now, my pimple was not that bad, I had taken care of it, but of course it was still there, but in my mind, it was the size of a hot air balloon.

Maxwell Maltz wrote a fantastic book called, "Psycho-Cybernetics". I would really suggest you get a copy. He found that negative imagination is responsible for us making our own self-images shrink to the size of a pea....but, he also found that our own ability to use our imagination creatively and positively, has the opposite effect, transforming our own self-images into something strong and powerful.

The next time you want to go and do something, but start seeing things going badly in your imagination, just notice you're using your imagination in a negative way, and just ask yourself a simple question, "what if I could go out and do ______ successfully? What would that look like if I could?" You'll notice that questions are the way that we change the direction of our minds. If you're going in a negative direction, ask a positive question to get yourself going in a positive direction.

Then, begin to use your imagination to think of all the ways you can do things well. Begin to see yourself as being the person you really want to be; doing the things you really want to do. As you see it in your mind, you will begin to see it in your life, because perception is projection - whatever you perceive the world to be like, you project onto your external experiences. If you change your internal world, the exterior world begins to change magically.

With compassion,

aklimatize