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Originally Posted by Cardooney
Did the neighbor play you?
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I don't think so. There's been rivalry between my partner's family and the Maintenance head, for years. They don't get along. So when M asked her if she was interested in the pressure washing for $25, it was an automatic no. She then told my partner, if M asks us, to say no because they were going to do it themselves "whenever" and after August.
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They can’t call you the bad guy. That doesn’t make sense, so don’t put weight into that.
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Because I wanted to go ahead with Maintenance plans, even though they didn't want to pay up.
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Does your husband think your opinion about the subject was wrong?
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No. He thought it made sense to powerwash it tomorrow, since the carport is currently empty. He later said there wasn't a need because the floor is "fine". On the contrary, he's fine having our neighbour do it for free, after August. "Why pay $50?" So, freebies for him is ok. No one else paid "$50" but me. What's $13ea? Big deal.
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Does he think you’re the bad guy? For what?
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Because I went against what his sister wanted. She didn't want to pay, nor do the job at a convenient time. I made it an issue by suggesting we take this opportunity tomorrow. He's intimidated by his sister.
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Does he not appreciate that you want the carport pressure washed tomorrow?
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For free, sure.
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It seems like he agreed with your logic, but doesn’t care about pressure washing, so says it’s about him supporting your wants...why? to make it meaningful? It’s just pressure washing.
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Because he says it's what "I WANTED". It wasn't about me, though. It was about what made most sense. He didn't want to pay for it, either, but was willing to for "me" rather than for the "logical" option.
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Or is he “supporting you” in opposition to his sister (while bailing her out 25 bucks)?
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He bailed his sister.
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Is he using the carport thing to express feelings/thoughts he is having about other stuff?
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I wouldn't know.
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The carport ordeal sounds annoying, but I hope you will still be able to enjoy your clean fresh space tomorrow.
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I've made "waves" for getting it done tomorrow, on my dime. I'm not expecting a thank you.
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It sounds like resentment is quite high around there right now. I’m sorry and I hope tomorrow is better and safer.
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Definitely from my end.
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Re the one year old, maybe the idea of passing them asleep between parents needs to go? Maybe it’s better to just lay the baby down about ten minutes after they fall asleep on a shoulder. That way it can’t be a disagreement between you two.
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This was a one-off scenario. An example of how I was thinking about our baby while he was thinking about himself .. but projected that onto me.