That is the question posed to me by T. T wants me to write about what I want for me in 5 years. How? What's the right answer? Why is T asking me this?

Hey everyone. It's been a few weeks since I've been on here. Last time I was here I was going back forth about getting in touch with my original T about seeing them for therapy again. Well, I ended up in the hospital for a short stay and a week after getting out I finally got the courage to call T and leave a message about wanting to see them again. T responded back the next day more than willing to start back therapy with me. I had my first 2 sessions with T this past week. It's really great to be back with someone I feel I can actually trust. I'm just super nervous about the road ahead because my head is all over the place and even though I'm glad for therapy I don't feel excited for life. Yes, there are things I think about in sporadic moments, but I have no clue if I'm going to be here in 5 years or not because my mind comes back to reality that my head is ****ed, has been for a long time, and how can I do anything with this broken brain? Let alone fathom the thought of being with it for 5 more years from now?


I'm trying not to look at this like an assignment with a right or wrong answer, but I feel like I have already failed at it.