Human beings are strange creatures. Throughout most of my life, most of the people that have appeared in my life had a double side to them. I have one true friend that I can honestly say I trust and will confide in him almost anything. People are complex adorned with many puzzle pieces that make them who they are. I do not have the luxury of many friends and that is because I cannot trust easily. I am rather cynical and wonder what people's motives are in befriending me. At 44 ripe years, I can safely say that very, very few people in my real life know who I am and my heart. In a way, I push people away; therefore, there won't need to be heartache down the road.

I am sorry this happened to you and some people can really be superficial. If all they care about is looks and body weight, then they will never know the real you. Don't get me wrong, looks and body weight are a part of you, but they don't define you. What defines you is that voice you hear before you go to sleep. That soft voice that tells you who you are and your capabilities. Don't allow judgments by superficial human beings affect you, since it is only a projection of their insecurities.

Be in touch with your inner voice. I hate this lonely road that I am on, yet it is one that I have chosen. The life of a hermit is not for everyone, but it is one that I choose out of safety for my sanity and due to the duality of human beings. I simply cannot trust, yet as I do have one friend, I will give you trust over time. Trust is earned and never forget who you are within.

Some "friends" can take more than you realize and sometimes will push you to the edge of doubting yourself. Trust me, as it has happened to me many, many times.

--sarc