One of the main reason I am seeing a T is because I have been dealing with an ED since I was 15. I have gone through stages when I am anorexic, stages when I am bulimic, and also binge eating. My official diagnosis is anorexia nervosa binge/purge subtype, and I told my current T that the first time I saw her.

Over the last two years, she never said anything when I am healthy weight/or putting on weight towards a healthy weight. But whenever I lose weight/getting too skinny she comments and confronts me about it. She tells me that I'm avoiding to talk about eating, but she can see that something is going on. I get her point, that she's trying to help me, but it still makes me kind of uncomfortable when someone comments on my weight/body regardless of what they said about it.

Recently I have been trying to maintain a healthy weight, and she tells me how tiny and skinny I still look when I talk to her about how I feel that I'm fat. I don't know what to think, and I found it a bit hypocritical sometimes because she's very skinny herself. But I suppose she is trying to show me that even though my eating disorder makes me think I look huge, but in reality I'm actually still tiny, her exact words.

Anyway. ED sucks. and my brain is a mess when it comes to anything to do with food, weight, whatever. Maybe it is just better to not have any comments all together.

I have known things about calories, BMI and thigh gaps since I was 12, and lets face it even though we try to talk about body positivity more, the society still perceive a thinner body being more beautiful. And look at those models.