Wow, that's an awful lot of separation and heartbreak to deal with. And I am so sorry for the loss of your poor brother! How horrific for you and your family. Terribly sorry!

And I'm just curious -- how is it that you married the first time at such a young age? 16 is awfully young.

I think it's a great idea to start therapy to help yourself figure things out and to steer clear of dating for a long time. I would also steer clear of any marriage proposals for a very long time. I know what it's like to attract all the wrong men. You're not alone.

I hope you find some comfort and support here on the forums. Hugs to you.