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Old Jul 25, 2020, 06:24 PM
Anonymous43372
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piper9954 View Post
I am getting ready to go through my 3rd divorce. I am going to seek counseling on this because I am at the point that I feel something must be wrong with me.

1st marriage at 16 to a man from another country. He was physically and emotionally abusive and we think he married me for other reasons.

2nd marriage I would have likely stayed in but he due to ongoing infidelity I had to file for divorce. He was even continuing the affair through marriage counseling.

3rd marriage we met online. He was perfect on paper. I thought he was self sufficient and would be a good partner off our long distance relationship. Turns out he still depends on mommy to pay his bills. He would rather play video games than work (he is 49) and he is very self absorbed. For instance, the night my brother was murdered he didn't get out of bed. He didn't go to the funeral. His excuse he was tired, and for funeral... he didn't know most people there and would feel out of place. I think how he treated me when I lost my brother was actually the breaking point. That was in 2013 and I have tried until now to move forward but he pretty much treats me like that daily.

So I am divorcing my 3rd husband. I need a partner not another child.

But, this is tearing me up emotionally. I come from a family where people stay together. Married 50, 60 even 70 years. So I feel like a failure. I tend to attract men who need me for something but provide nothing in return.

Anyway, it's tough and I will not get involved again for a very long time. Need a lot of counseling to get me through this divorce for sure.
Don't beat yourself up. You tried marriage with 3 different partners and learned they were incompatible with you over time, and did the right thing by divorcing from them. Imagine if you had stayed married for 50 years to one of those men. You'd be way more miserable than you are now.

I agree with you that therapy is a good idea. There has to be reasons why you choose the wrong partners, even though they may appear on the surface to be stable and safe. I hope you can find a good therapist and find out why this keeps happening for you. I wish you well.
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, Piper9954
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, Piper9954