I kind of have an odd stance on this. I believe very much in helping others and caring and in ways being more selfless towards people... but when it comes to your own health, and dealings with others — no one is gonna put you first, except yourself if you allow yourself to.

Perhaps by definition it’s selfish to protect others and yourself, but the fallout is much worse. We can throw the word selfish around on anyone. It is selfish for your sister to make your problems her problems and talk about how they affect her, instead of thinking about how they might affect you , like your illness is all about her. (I don’t believe that, but hopefully you’re seeing what I’m getting at. We can point fingers and redefine who is to blame for being “selfish”. That can back and forth for ages).

Probably not the most popular opinion here , but I think we should be accountable for our actions, try to be better and spare undue stress and heartache when possible. If being selfish is looking out for my health (and the health of others— like family) then you have every right to be selfish.

But to be clear , I’m only commenting on the negative idea of selfishness here. You’re sister is trying to help and be part of a solution and that should be respected. I commend you for taking time to hear her out. We all can be selfish for one reason or another. Being self-absorbed is a bit of a different story in my mind; but I digress. I don’t think you’re being either in this specific situation. Listening and considering your sister shows a lot towards that.