I don't know much about therapy, or psychology, or the various issues people can have. But I do know that there are definite patterns that people fall into. I'm assuming that these forums are full of people who have experience identifying these problems, and can maybe help me out.

My brother-in-law is slowly gaining a ton of weight. He likes to spend time on the couch escaping into screens, shows and games. He is incredibly smart, and has incredible potential, but his creativity is completely thwarted by some kind of patterns. If you play any game with this guy, he is three steps ahead of you. Very quick. I'd also like to add, he's wonderful in a lot of ways. Very warm and sweet and charming.

He is and was a total mama's boy. Was breast fed until very late. He is very clingy and attached to his wife (my sister in law), who does all the cooking, cleaning etc. (this is partly cultural, he's from Turkey). He likes fatty, sugary salty foods. Will eat massive amounts of sugar cereal for breakfast. When he is hungry he whines like a little child to his wife. When she cooks, he hovers around in the kitchen, helping her like her child. She tells him what to do and he does it. He doesn't do any of the cleaning. He will do things like suddenly have to go to an ice-cream store and get a huge banana split or something. He eats a lot of meat etc.

He's addicted to football.

His wife is really worried about his health, however, she totally enables this behavior, and is very matronly. She seems to love him very much. She is my wife's sister, and she doesn't like to open up to my wife about relationship stuff. They are inseparable, and even though they are now in different countries, my wife has a hard time talking to her without him being right there.

About two years ago he got on some program where he lost a ton of weight and seemed super fit and healthy, then fell off the wagon and went right back to where he was before.

Is there a book or some site or some reference point that, were they to read it, would ping off some recognition and at least allow them to recognize that they are in this patter? I love this man, and I hate to watch him waste his life, and I'm actually really worried I'm going to get a call in about 10 years that he's had a heart attack.

Or...

should I just let them live their lives, sort out their own problems? Just let stuff happen as it may?

thanks...