My therapist has said similar things and I find it invalidating and frustrating. I don't think she understands how completely overwhelmed I am by my current depression. It doesn't help that I have executive functioning deficits even when I feel good. Trying to organize myself when I'd rather be dead feels insurmountable.

I've been staying in bed all day for about 3.5 months at this point. My self care is almost nonexistent.

One time she said maybe I'm unhappy because I won't "let myself" feel better and that made me mad.

I have had severe depression since I was maybe 8, and bad anxiety even before that. There was one period about 3 years ago when I was doing pretty well, but I don't know how to get back there. Quarantine has made me much worse, yet she keeps saying I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing if the pandemic wasn't going on. She says this as an argument that I should be able to do stuff. I think that's dumb and she might as well tell me that I'd be running a marathon if my leg wasn't broken.

Anyway, I don't think it's helpful when therapists phrase what they say in such ways. When my therapist has said similar things to me, it feels like she's calling me lazy and it increases my feelings of desperation, fear, and hopelessness because I have no idea how to make myself feel better and simply telling me my behavior is harmful to me and I need to do things just increases the existing stress I have over the situation.

Sometimes she does give me specific tasks, and that is somewhat more helpful. However, she underestimates how long it takes me to do anything and how distracted I get, so her expectations are sometimes out of touch. She also speaks rather disapprovingly and insinuates I'm overstating how overwhelming I find things. I think that mostly has to do with her not understanding executive functioning deficits.

Last session she threatened that I might have to go live in a residential facility.

Anyway, I get what it's like to be sort of criticized when you are struggling and feel overwhelmed.