Everyone in my family is married 40-60 years until their reward. I was married 15 and in a partnership for 12 or so. Other than the last one and maybe one other, all 12 women I have been with since HS have left me. I have horrible bipolar disorder and very recently learned that I dissociate big-time almost meeting or meeting DID criteria. Childhood trauma, etc.

I like the idea of you digging in with therapy to examine your big issues, your stuff. That is where the answers lie, within you.