Thread: Roll Call 172
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Old Jul 26, 2020, 04:59 PM
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Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
I feel stuck in habit and routine. I'm working now.

I'm stuck in a place that I don't want to be in. I can't draw if I want. I can't focus. I'm addicted to taking something to make myself better.

I'm stuck. But I think that once I take something, then I can break habits behaviourly.

It's better than it was before where I was just taking things for no reason.
I already feel that there's no meaning in my life. So it's hard not to do this. I've felt depressed since I was 12 and these chemicals worked for a while - Especially ketamine last year - I managed to go through 6 months of improving myself so they aren't just "chemicals". They work.

Although can have negative effects. But I don't think of them as having zero meaning compared to changing behaviour - Also chemicals are behaviour.

People ingest thousands if not millions of chemicals a day whether they know it or not and it contributes to how they feel.
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist