I'm facing something similar. I have hid from the world, shrinking from relationships. My addiction to Sex and relationships has changed every thing about me! But with every action, and leap of faith something magical happens. We learn! I too have fallen for guys and then had sex with in a few minutes of meeting them. And every step I take towards that life, and that type of connection, I shrink. I don't know about you, but I like to grow. Growing takes trust. What if you approach this issue with curiosity. Ask yourself, What is this accomplishing? What do I want? What does the other want? Does this meet my values?

I"m guessing you may not know what you want from a partner/relationship. I know I don't. Past traumas influence how we see each other. When I sat down and wrote about what I want in life, I found clarity. Then I set out for and made small goals. Making small changes every day, leads to magnificent results. And eventually I hope to find my partner/husband. But I need to be the right person, and grow from my past.

How does this resinate with you? And remember to care for yourself as you go through different relationships.
You can have what you want, and it takes work to get there. What are you willing to do?