I worry about this, too. My T hasn't taken time off (that lasted more than a day or two) since the end of February (when he had a, in retrospect, well-timed vacation). He seems sad. As Susannah noted on the couch, I've mentioned his wiping away tears often lately. And he typically works 6 days a week, though not full days every day. He's also revealing more personal stuff since the pandemic started, which isn't like him. I mean, I like the changes in some ways, as he seems much more compassionate and empathetic. His arrogance is gone. However, I also worry a bit about him. As when I'd mentioned an article that said 20% of people with depression and/or anxiety were actually doing better in the pandemic, he was surprised and said that all of his clients seemed to be doing worse. I imagine it's a heavy burden to carry.


He's said that looking forward to the election is something that's getting him through, along with some other things, but I still get the sense it's really difficult. I think a huge difference here is that T's are experiencing the pandemic along with us. As opposed to, I'm experiencing the loss of a loved one right now, while T likely isn't. As in, a client is experiencing x, but T isn't. But everyone is going through this. I can see Covid fatigue happening. At some points, I've even found myself apologizing when lamenting stuff about the limitations and isolation, like, "I'm sorry, I'm sure you're dealing with clients complaining about this every day...." And he's said he feels limited in how much he can help clients because he's doing teletherapy, which he realizes isn't the same as in person.


So, in some ways, I'm feeling this deeper connection to him, which is good. But I also wonder how sustainable it is, if this drags on for, say, another 6 months. In response to a question of whether he was definitely going back to in-person at some point, he said that if he had to keep doing virtual, he'd likely need to retire after 18 months of it. And I hope that won't happen, in part because it would mean the pandemic would continue ravaging for that long.... but also because I don't want him to leave. I was about to type that he's been my rock during this, but that's not accurate. More like he's been my stress ball, something squishy and yielding. But how long will a stress ball last if a bunch of people are squeezing it tightly every day?