Thank you for the replies.

Fetlife is a social media site for people who are into sexual kinks (such as BDSM, rope bondage, fetish modeling, role play, etc.) and "alternative" lifestyles such as polyamory. It is heavily queer positive--which is a good thing!--and skews very politically left wing. It's a place where kinky people can make connections with other kinky people, find out about kinky events in their area, share their personal writings on the subject, and participate in discussions.

I'm a sadomasochist, and Fetlife is pretty much the only place I can go to find people interested in tying me up and spanking me. Apologies if that's TMI. I only mention it to clarify what Fetlife is and why I go there. These aren't things I can just talk about in the regular vanilla world. For me, the benefits of making these connections outweighs the more obnoxious aspects of social media.

Basically, I made a post arguing that people like myself who have a preference when it comes to their sexual partners' genitals are not sexist or transphobic, because nobody is entitled to sex in the first place, and therefore no one's human rights are being violated as a result of being denied the opportunity to hook up with a disinterested individual.

I tried my best to make it clear that I support trans rights. I really do. I think JK Rowling is wrong, and I honestly believe that trans rights are human rights. I just don't believe that anyone should feel obligated to feel sexual attraction toward anyone else--because life just doesn't work that way! You can't force horniness. I argued that it's therefore morally acceptable for me to turn someone down for a date if they're not able to provide the type of sexual encounter (penis-in-vagina) that I'm looking for. The person who replied called me an ignorant transphobe. They believe that my sexual preference for penises and male bodies constitutes an act of hate. That sexually excluding people without penises makes me transphobic and misogynistic.

I've also read a lot of essays online (on human interest websites such as Medium) arguing the same thing. That having genital preferences is an act of bigotry. That if you truly support trans rights, you'd better say yes when they ask you for sex.

Seriously. I kid you not.

What I'm wondering is if these people are right and I'm wrong. I don't want to ignore an opportunity to grow as a person if it turns out I'm actually in the wrong here.

Like I said, I want to be a good human. I want to make it clear that I support trans rights. I just don't think that I should have to settle for sexual encounters that don't "do it" for me in order to prove myself a good trans ally.

Hope that clarifies.