Welcome to pc. I am sorry you've experienced this. 16 is very young to have to confront loss in this way

The video linked above is a good reminder to be kind to self. Also Skeezyks links to complicated grief. (I have also experienced complicated grief This is hard, particularly in a society which does not openly talk of.. much of anything of substance, it feels at times

I also hope you find a way like a therapist to help you sort things out. Here at pc can also be a good place to help to sort things through, to vent, or talk etc.