It can be helpful to write out what your fears and anxieties are about taking the medication. Then you can look for evidence to support those fears or challenge them.

For me, I found that the biggest resistance I had to taking medication in the past was that it made me feel "different." When medication works for me, it does dull certain parts of me that I'm used to, including the severity of my depression or the ups and downs of my moods. I've gone off medication several times because I felt like the medication was dulling the "real me" and limiting me in some way. But every time I've gone off medication I've noticed negative things happen, some of them long-lasting. Now I try to remind myself of those negatives and tell myself that the things I lose by taking medications are not greater than the things I gain. I appreciate the stability that I have, as well as the improvements in other areas such as relationships, concentration, and ability to cope with life.

I understand the hesitancy to take medication. It's important to know that antidepressants are generally safe, and there are lots of options if one doesn't seem to work for you either due to side effects or it just not being helpful. The best thing about medication is also the worst thing, in that there are so many options. It can take time and trial and error to find what works for you.

What are some of your specific anxieties?

I find that sometimes we feel like we should just be able to get through our depression without medication. Like somehow needing medication makes us weak or means that we're looking for an easy fix. That's usually internalized stigma, though. Things that other people have said that we push on ourselves. You wouldn't rob someone who is nearsighted from wearing their glasses, or take insulin/medication away from someone with diabetes. It's important to know that sometimes we need medication to help us. There's no fault in that.

Whatever your anxieties are, make sure you discuss them with your provider. Medication can be helpful for a lot of people, but even when it does work it doesn't fix everything. Medication can make it easier to do some of the other things that are important to recovery. If you do take medication, stay consistent, follow the dosing as prescribed, and communicate closely with your provider especially if you notice any benefits or side effects. They can only help if they have all the information.