The Invega Sustenna 150mg every 3 weeks and olanzepine 5mg every night has made my psychosis almost non-existent.

The reason I get dp/dr is because of the psilocybin overdoses. I find it weird that I tend to have a lot of cormobidity in mental illnesses. It makes me think that I'm a hypochondriac - But my only diagnosis is being on the schizo-autism spectrum - Which is one hell of a whack to the mind.

My microdose capsules arrived and I'm not going to use them because of the dp/dr (It will make that worse). My brain is still trying to process the trauma of my bad trips. Will it lead to benzo dependency? I hope not. Benzos seem to be the only things that help -

- Also Vyvanse helps. I've never had dp/dr while on Vyvanse. Only when it wears off.. I start staring blankly into space and have maladaptive daydreaming.

It's all a mess and what I need to do is just write or talk about it - But it's really tiring. I just need a break. I try to distract myself but can't "do things". My doctor says I need to think less and just do - But that's really hard for me..

I'm feeling pretty good right now. I'm focused and calm. But when night time rolls around, I have to prepare myself for horror. I'll go to sleep at 12-1am tonight cuz I'm scared when 2am hits where I could have a panic attack.

My panic attacks are so unbelievably horrifying because they don't go away unless I take a benzo. I just panic for hours. I wonder how long they actually last without taking one - 24 hour panic attack? Idk... Everything becomes one and I hear voices in my head (Dissociative ones).. So I guess ketamine isn't a good idea.. I get scared of people laughing and trying to harm me also fearing that my cat knows, etc..

It's like a seizure but being conscious. But I'll be ok. I'm gonna figure out what I want to do today and just distract myself.