Human
Member Since Apr 2014
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Posts: 8,346
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Jul 28, 2020 at 08:22 PM
Anyone else with cPTSD feel like they are always having to justify things they like, do, don't do, want, their life in general to others? Unless I'm in a court of law, it's no one's business but my own why I do one thing or another. Why do I always feel like I have to explain myself? I don't have to. I have every right to simply say no or yes or do whatever I want without having to explain myself to someone else.
If I'm not working today, then I'm not, no one is owed any explanation. But for some reason I feel I have to appease other people and that I'm always wrong, even explaining my rational for doing the most minor thing.
I am a believer that "that which is not distinguished, runs you." But I don't think that means having to explain to others why I do one thing or another. My reasons for doing one thing or another, for working or not working, are my business, not someone else's. And yet the second someone demands an explanation, I have a full blown panic attack AND feel like I owe them some sort of response, when I don't.
Does anyone else feel this way?
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?
Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.
Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien
Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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