Quote:
Originally Posted by MarcusAurelius
It probably is playing a major role, but it’s more than that. It’s like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can’t move up or out. I have no one in my corner and I don’t feel I have support. I have to live day to day and it’s exhausting. I don’t believe in not having dreams of achieving higher or looking past work-home-work-home-rest-work-home......
It’s frustrating. My mom is hounding me constantly now that she Knows where I am. All prospects of teaching are out the window, nightmares are controlling my daytime and I’m exhausted and irritated. It’s just a bad situation all around. No one has time to help me, including me:
I’m just fed up. It’s too much for too long, you know? (P.S just to be clear — NOT SUICIDAL).
|
I am so sorry, Marcus.
Look, we are all in your corner. We all support you and love you. I pray for you every single night and have for weeks. You have many wonrous, beautiful people who care deeply about you. Just cuz you do not physically see us does nto mean we do not love you and do not receive valuable support.
My entire family and 98% of all friends and biz associates totally abandaned me when I became psychotic and announced I was Jesus and ruinning for president, among many other outrageous things I did and said. So, I get love and support from people who love and support me. A lot of that is here and it works for me. Yes, I would prefer more IRL pals, but, I have a very loving ex, a loving daughter, and the best dad on the planet and I am so grateful for what I do have. Hundreds of patients at our state hospital receive no calls, no mail, and zero visits, often for decades. And many are treatment-resistant and very, very sick. I was there for 5 years.
Read
Man's Search For Meaning if you can. It will inspire you to see how a Jewish MD survived the holocaust and thrived. Excellent for providing a valuable perspective on our own stuff.
Hugs and peace.