A little over two weeks ago I had major surgery on one of my limbs due to a past traumatic event. Yes I'm looking forward to improved mobility and I know it will heal in time. Yet I feel depressed and emotional. The pain is quite bad at times, although better compared to the first few days. It takes longer to prep for a shower, wash, and dry myself. Routine tasks are more difficult. I realize this is part of it.

The person helping me time to time is grouchy. They often wait to do a task, to see if I will do it instead. Yesterday I spent the majority of the day in bed. Tired and pain. I take medication but the surgeon told me to wean off one of the powerful ones. I'm not a heavy medication user and not worried about addiction.

I'm not sure exactly why I feel depressed.

The other issue is I'm my own worst enemy. If a symptom is present (presently a very swollen area) I convince myself to manage it on my own for awhile before calling. Ice, elevation etc. After awhile my thoughts go to-do I call the doctors office, will they be upset, consider me a pest? This stems from bad experiences with doctors judging me for other reasons etc.