So i met my new therapist today. She seemed really nice and im sure we will get along just fine(at least most of the time). My life is in chaos lately and i really have no plan. In the past my plan was more of the same! It sounds dumb to go to therapy if you dont want to change but i guess i hoped they would change how i felt without having to do things i really didnt want to. Im an annoying client, i debate with the t(i even told her this) and she seemed to handle that without much concern. She either underestimates my annoying or is just taking it as it comes.

Either way i dont want that anymore! I feel like with my girlfriend dumping me i have nothing to lose by following what they say. It still is hard though and the ruts of my habits are well worn and easy traveling. And the unknown is the unknown! Thats scary business right there. She asked if id be willing to go to a social anxiety group therapy thing maybe. Geez in the past ive fought tooth and nail and refused such things with zeal. Now though i want to change these things. I said i would do that,thankfully she had to check with someone when it started, theres a chance it wont start up again for 10 weeks. Im not sure which im hoping for, getting in or getting credit for willing to go without having to do anything One thing at a time, is that going to change things? I dunno. Is that how i might get out of this rut? I hope so. I am going to try to accept everything she pushes and look at it as a victory for me when i can say yes, i will do that. I just needed to get this out of me.