Quote:
Originally Posted by DawnMiller
This is my first check in. I'm going to be honest, because I rarely am about how I really feel.
I feel lost. I feel self-hatred and I feel devastated. I have such a hard time sleeping and when I eat too much I hate myself more. I punished myself with walking 15 km despite working 11 hours.
My relationship is not good. We've argued for days he even called for a break and we tried to work it out but he's being really weird.
I know I'm probably stupid for not taking meds, but I hated the weight gain and anxiety it gave me. I've worked so hard losing nearly 20 kilos (43 lbs) and it makes me feel better knowing that I look better.
I feel hopeless and lost. I just don't know what to do. I have a work therapist, but she's on maternity leave, so I have no contact right now.
I'm sorry if this is not where to post this. I'm new and I just need to let it all out
|
Welcome, Dawn Miller. I'm glad you joined us.
I know that losing weight on certain bipolar medications can be extremely difficult, but there are some that are more weight neutral. I am worried that your moods will suffer even more if you don't take care of your mental health. Can you talk to your psychiatrist/prescriber about more weight neutral options? Some medication is usually better than none. I realize that some doctors are set in their ways, but we must sometimes be very assertive about what we need and what we are willing to tolerate.
Some mood states, themselves, are hard on my health and physical figure. If I'm depressed, I have a real tendency to want to fill in that hole left inside me, or think it will help boost my energy, when it often doesn't. In those cases, I must receive better treatment for my bipolar. When I do, and am on a more weight friendly mix, it then becomes much easier to lose weight and keep myself healthy.
Is there anyone at the office of your therapist who could assist you at all, in her absence? Is it possible to seek a new person for medication management?