Just wanted to say I can totally relate.

I sometimes think it was part of the programming (along with the brainwashing & gas lighting) my abusers inflicted.

They never had to make an excuse for their actions but somehow made me feel that I have to.

It's really messed up and I hope to be able to overcome it one day, but at 60 years of age I'm beginning to wonder if it's at all possible.

I'm also tired of people telling me I'm weird.

They'd be weird too if they'd survived 33.5 years of domestic violence, incest & abuse.

I'm glad I'm nothing like the people I came from but I'm sad that it still impacts me today.