I used to be a far more negative person -- this is many many years ago - like 15 years ago. I was always positive-minded and forward thinking, but negative life circumstances dragged down my mental health and therefore, my ability to feel truly positive about life. I had some bad jobs back then that made life immensely difficult for me. I struggled financially. I struggled personally. I had a string of unstable romantic relationships. Life was unstable overall for me back then. Nothing seemed to be working well in my life, in all directions.

So I made a big change and moved across country. I had had enough. So I went on a grand adventure on the other side of the country for the next four years. And things started to shift within me during that time. I became far stronger, and I found myself again. I pursued a passion and professional interest of mine. It did not work out in the end, but I am glad I pursued it at the time. And I kind of grew up over this time period.

I returned back home with not much money and only a small part time consulting gig. I had to live with my parents for a while.

But I worked very hard at my career. I sweated it out to gain greater traction and momentum forward. I landed a full-time job, then less than a year later, I was able to double my salary, then three years later, I moved up again and increased my salary by 20K. I worked very hard at my career in order to learn, progress and move upwards.

All the while and over these years leading up to the present, something dramatic changed within me. I learned through ALL my travels, my adventures, my personal and professional endeavors that I just want to be -- and need to be --- surrounded by positive-minded and supportive people in my life - at all times.

I started weeding out those who were unhealthy and toxic for me. I let go of one friendship of seven years (about 5 years ago) because the friendship was one-sided and I was feeling far more negative than positive after almost every interaction with this person. And my life improved greatly after severing the friendship.

And now that I am nearing 50, I have realized that what is most important to me is to have positive, supportive and nurturing friendships and the same within my larger social circle.

I now have a social circle that is very loving and nurturing. I LOVE this group of people. I have never met more loving people in my entire life. I am SO thankful and grateful that I met this group. I always feel so amazingly good after every interaction with anyone from this circle.

And I realized a secret recipe for my true happiness is to always be surrounded by people that are positive and nurturing -- and to pursue those activities in life that are positive and nurturing.

Now my new challenge and task ahead is to learn how to extend that within the workplace.

Let me re-phrase --- I have very positive relationships with people at work, generally speaking.

However, I created a conflict with my former boss, by accident and quite naively without realizing what I was doing. And that caused problems for me. And as it turns out, my former boss could possibly be a narcissist. He has an enormous ego, he can do no wrong, and he doesn't own up to any mistakes. Instead, he passes the buck and throws people under the bus in order to get ahead. He's a sleaze bag in other words. There's no way around it. And I was not the only one he singled out. I had heard complaints from others about him.

But now, I want to learn how to get along in the workplace with difficult people and difficult personalities. I want harmony and peace in my life in all ways. I don't want to cause waves, but I also want to maintain strong boundaries and not allow work bullies with big egos to push me around. I want to be nice, but I also want to give off that vibe of "don't F with me!".

So I wonder how that is achieved? Is it confidence? Is it not coming across as such a people pleaser??? Is that what accomplishes it? Confidence and an inner strength that shows and comes across to others without having to say anything?

This is my new challenge and life lesson ahead. I still have a lot of personal and inner work to do.... it's never ending. This job of self improvement.

So now I want to learn how to give off the vibe of "don't F with me" at work. Since I am now unemployed, I have loads of time to figure it out so I can do better next time.