HaveHope, thank you for posting this information. Every thing you described makes sense. It took a life threatening event to change my view on life. I experienced a lot of trauma and felt negative, unhappy etc. After this life threatening event, I woke up one day and realized no more. I cut contact with family bullies, doctors treating me poorly etc. I gained weight and could not lose it. I figured it was intolerance to certain foods, cut back on sugar, and exercised. I dropped almost 50 pounds. I'm working on dealing with certain situations; fearful, anxious with doctors.
The life threatening event made me realize I have strength. People make insensitive remarks about the event; it use to hurt. I would literally experience a meltdown when I arrived home. My feelings have changed to how dare you, screw you, I did something right- I'm alive. My internal talk-I do not say it out loud to insensitive people.