Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
If there was no issue about taking in your MIL, how would you feel about her sending the necklace?
I agree that your instincts are probably right about her though.
What kind of person blocks out family members simply for a disagreement? It’s a person who doesn’t truly care about you. I’ve had to do a lot of soul searching about this, as I’ve had it happen within my own family. There are factors of pride, narcissistic qualities, triggered traumatic wounds misdirected, many factors. But the simple answer is they don’t care or they would have tried to make amends.
Sending the necklace may have been her way to try to make amends. But, as you suspect ulterior motives concerning you having to take in your MIL, maybe she was not sincere.
You could try to have a civil conversation with her to figure it out and try to put this relationship on the right track, but I don’t know if that will go very well. I had no luck with it. Does it hurt to try? Can it make anything worse? Do you care to try? Do you really care that much about each other?
The issue of taking in your MIL is a separate issue you will have to deal with anyway. (I have that issue, too  ) |
Thank you Tishabiv! You raise some very good points. As far as trying to have a civil conversation with her, I don't think that will work. I was trying to do that when this whole situation blew up. I mentioned to her point by point all her accusations and how each one was not true and the reasons why. I did this in a very civil diplomatic way. She continued with her attacks an even drug my family into it by making accusations about them. Before I could respond, she removed me from her social media contacts then never spoke to me again.
She does not care. As you said she would have put forth an effort to make amends. She has not done that. She's had 3 years to call me, she's had 3 years of birthdays and holidays which she ignored, and she ignored my whole family...not just me and it was me she had the argument with. A caring person does not do this. Perhaps she's trying to have a life with my kids but still plans to keep me shut out. That won't work. My kids are smarter than that and they've seen her hold these grudges. They really don't even know her that well because she's spent 70% of their lives holding grudges against us and not acknowledging our existence. My only choice is to see this expensive gift and think "what does she want?"