Hey LilyMop, I know it's hard to (a) not people-please and (b) not give 210% when you're used to going above and beyond. Honestly, you therapist is right to encourage you to be cognizant of your behaviors and try to maintain boundaries around what you will and won't do. I have had the same problem in the past, and learning to keep boundaries, do MY work and no one else's, and lend a hand where it's possible but not detrimental to my responsibilities at work, but also, if my boss tells me to do a task (when I had a boss) doing it, of course. All of this has really helped me maintain balance but also do a better job at work. Everyone has a role, and you have to put your work above other people's so that you get your job done.

I also think she's right on the mark about friendships at work. If someone is unfriendly, you can still be polite and respectful, but if they are giving signals that they don't want to get personal, then that's fine. You can have closer relationships with colleagues who are friendlier and professional ones with those who prefer to stay neutral.

Try not to beat yourself up about learning these things. We all have to learn to set boundaries and it's ONGOING learning. We never just figure it out and are done with learning or coping or self care. I think you're doing great to recognize where things are causing you stress and figuring out how to do the self care and self management to relieve that stress.