Yes, I agree with you and Open Eyes. It's my daughter that received the gift so the focus should be on my daughter expressing thanks to the aunt for sending it and following good manners. I should also not allow my issues with the aunt to cloud my daughter enjoying the necklace.

But between you all here and me, I feel I need to say that I don't pretend not to see the strategy in this. By sending a nice gift, it puts the burden on my daughter to contact her to say thanks. Why could this aunt not just call my daughter to say Happy Birthday? This woman should come to us, not us go to her.

I also find it pretty crafty on the aunt's part to circumvent me by going to my kid. So she'll love up to my kids which will force me to soften to her. Pretty slick. Though she could save her money and her time by simply displaying some humility and picking up the phone to speak directly to me and acknowledge wrongs in order to move forward. But she won't do it. Oh well. I give her a year. She'll get mad at us again over something stupid and then she'll stop speaking to us again for the next 3 years. I just get sick of giving people like this multiple chances. She just needs to F off for good.