Hi Rebecca,

I reread your thread, but I’m not sure what to say. It looks like her $500 rental didn’t work and she’s back home. Why?

Her behavior is abusive, and she is being allowed to get away with it. She is 21.

I do understand your dilemma in being afraid to put her out of your house because she may have a disorder and you fear she won’t be able to care for herself.

You are allowing her to act like your equal. That’s one thing you can definitely change no matter what is her real issue. Don’t engage with her if she throws your transgressions in your face. She’s just trying to deflect her bad behavior.

Can’t you and your husband unite to give her an adult time out? You’d both ignore her ranting, tell her it’s your house and your rules. If you tell her to wash the pot, and she wants to use it, she’ll have no choice but to wash the pot. Tell her to get away from you both, go to her room or leave the house until she cools off. Yes, gray rock and no tolerance of disrespect in union with your husband to enforce.