I was raised as a Catholic but haven't practiced being a Catholic for roughly 17 years. When I was a kid I wanted to bethe 1st ever Alter girl. But I chickened out as I'm naturally shy.

I was a nightmare teenager between undiagnosed bipolar and hormones i was a mess. High low etc etc.

There is a thread on here about Hyper-Religious. I'm in this category. But I'm wanting to ask this question...

"Does God punish us for being bad?" I mean in respect of given us the diagnosis of Bipolar. Was I diagnosed cause God hated the way I reacted to things, the way I behaved with my siblings,the way I behaved with my parents.

You could say I'm hypo-manic currently. Normally I'm singing hymns loudly and saying prayers I'm very good unfortunately at remembering prayers especially school prayers. But I'm filled with guilt and feeling that God is punishing me for my teenage years the way I acted and behaved.

Do you think He is here with me? Do you think there are things I can do to kill the guilt as its killing me?