1. Need for hospitalization. Psychosis/self harm/suicidal.

2. I’m bed-ridden/floor-ridden. I don’t get up to eat, or to do anything but use the bathroom. Lots of crying; lots of just sitting in sorrow and misery. I’ve given up most hope and just want to succumb to it all and hope the pain subsides. It’s at this point I find it hard to come out of even with help. Skipping a lot of things that can’t be missed, like work.

3. I do only what I’m forced to do. If I have to work to support myself, I go to work. I come home, sleep and repeat. Hygiene is questionable, I can’t find energy to do anything but bare necessities.

4. If you look at me, you’ll look right through me. I’m just going through the motions of life without experiencing them; for better or for worse: it all seems bleak.

5. Feeling blunted. Not only are my emotions blunted but being able to express intense emotions feels impossible, and they feel like the build up: it’s uncomfortable but it’s not the melancholy sadness from before— you gotta take that as a plus.

6. Realizing I’m at least above rock bottom: nothing is great but I’m still working on me. Patience is tested here..

7. “Partial remission” of depressive symptoms. At this point I feel like I’m at least going in the right direction and it’s worth continuing down this path. Better mood overall because I’m not dealing with such harsh depressive issues now.

8: I’m finding joy in things I used to like to do—I’m all about learning new things or processes. From culinary arts to calculus I have books, resources and everything on anything. Languages have a special place in my heart and I have an affinity for web development. Just being able to think of those things and say “maybe tomorrow I can make some time to dabble in that”. Just being able to find a little glimpse of joy.

9. I find myself smiling and enjoying most if not every day, most of the day. I feel content and can let little things roll off my back. I can live in the moment of peace and joy and feel like I have something to give. I can really start to delve into things again and be excited by changes and adventures

10. Dreams are become reality. I’ve got a purpose in life and a determined Mindset And means to make it happen— emotionally that means I can find joy and laughter in the world and enjoy and cherish what I have. Aspire to bigger things but have hope that I can make that a reality. Applying what I know and want to learn all at once. I feel like I’m out on top for once

This is an ideal list, I’m not so sure my hypomanic phases are exactly helpful to me.