I admittedly suck, but not on purpose. It's more like I will take it religiously and then it will just drop from my radar because I feel better, and although I don't for one second think I'm cured, it just doesn't seem like a big deal to take it or skip it and when I'm manic I just don't care if I take them or not.

I think my issue with meds is subconscious tbh. Deep down I hate taking them, and I hate the fact that they make me okay, acceptable, functional...
Like why can't I just go back to being med free? It's sad that I have to accept that that ship has sailed and has long past the horizon.

I have alarms set to take my meds, because my honest intention is to take them, but still I just don't seem to have it in me to take them religiously, and that sucks too because I feel like I'm failing at a very simple thing.

My daughter was joking the other night about me being a commitment phobe, said I can't even commit to meds, that I only commit to them for a week at a time then I lose interest, and that the only thing I've ever fully committed to is her. [emoji1787]