I agree with Rive on this to a point. It's a two way relationship due to the nature of how therapy works. The client has a choice whether to leave at any point and any good therapy should focus on the client's autonomy and agency. Painful feelings and unmet meets are going to emerge as ideally this is how they can be understood and worked through. Unfortunately sometimes a T just doesn't have the self-awareness, training or emotional capacity to deal with intense transference and things can go horribly wrong, which IS the fault of the T. It can FEEL exactly like you did as a child - in a state of acute desperation and longing, that you will die without this T. As a child, you would die without an adult to take care of you. But that isn't true now that you're an adult who has choices and autonomy. Any good T will always encourage this foremost before working through deep transference material and it sounds like yours failed you in that sense. BUT you can get through this pain and survive, it's agonising but the realisation that you have other options available to you now, you're not going to die if you can't see this guy, is what sets you free.