Quote:
Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow
It's 2:40 AM and I can't stop crying. Something made me think too much about my Charlie cat and I just lost it. I'm terrified of what this will be like in a matter of months when I have to lose a human if this is what it feels like to lose a cat.
I can't stop thinking of his last moments. His last 30 minutes really. There's nothing I could have done. He was dying and if we'd had an emergency vet they would have suggested euthanasia anyway I think. I just wish that it hadn't been the way it was.
I even know deep in my heart that he is happier now. He was on meds most of his life and even though I paid to have them compounded into much smaller doses he hated med time. In recent months I wasn't getting much into him most night. He just spit it out. It wasn't a happy thing and every day I felt guilty forcing him to take it. I just wish he were happier and off meds and HERE. We tried to wean meds in June and it didn't work and I think started the downward spiral.
This is so long. I'm sorry. I just need to "talk" and hope it helps the tears. I took my PRN gabapentin and am allowed PRN klonopin if I want it. I just don't want to go back up on that; getting off has been so slow because stressful things keep happening.
Thanks for listening.
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I am so sorry you're crying. I know how much Charlie meant to you.
You did everything you humanly could to make him comfortable and you were an amazing mom to him. Wherever he is now, I'm sure he is forever grateful for you being in his life and taking care of him in his darkest days, as well as for loving him unconditionally.
I'm sorry you're going to lose someone else as well. I know that feeling when someone is given X many months to live. It's really difficult to go through.