Sending you hugs, bpcyclist. I don't know for sure what else to say other than that this type of stuff you describe often let's up over time. At least for a while and to some degrees. I found for myself that when it does let up, my main goal is to fight it from coming back again, to the best of my ability.

I know processing traumatic experiences is necessary, but also is a degree of letting them go to live in the past.