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To me, your list brings up many valid points. The "making the client feel special" is a huge one, for me.
With the therapist I saw years ago, the one I had the immensely, painfully, miserably strong transference with- he made it clear that I was his "special" client. And maybe that's how he really felt. But to me, it felt one-sided...he viewed me as very special, but I was never permitted to discuss my transference. Every time I edged near it he would say something such as, "If you're uncomfortable with things as they are, I can refer you to someone else."
I didn't even believe he was serious; I believe he very much wanted me as his client. But he might as well have said, "I don't want to go into your transference." Instead, he manipulated me by using fear of abandonment. Then he was suddenly gone and there I was, stuck with my unresolved transference.
My current therapist has made me feel very special, too. One of the first things she told me when we began therapy was, "If we were not in therapy I would choose you for a friend." That made me feel kind of weird. And other indications that I was special to her. So my transference (that extremely needy part of my child-self) deepened, but then she's gone so much that again, it feels like abandonment.
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