He and I had a nice conversation yesterday. I told him I’m so glad he called me (yes, he was prompted by his dad when they spoke earlier). I told him it means so much to me to keep in touch with each other, care and feel cared for. Especially in a pandemic!

I told him that it would also be a good deed of him (a mitzvah) to call his grandma. I said I thought he has been way too hard on her more than she deserved. She was always loving to him, and the things she did that hurt me were way less than the overall love she has. Besides, she could go any minute in a pandemic! It would be nice for him to call her once in a while to ask how she is.

He has had unwarranted hatred toward her. He says it’s because she is so negative. Well, true, she is, but she isn’t completely and was always loving to him. I feel things were trumped up and distorted to separate him from his family by his new environment. Like he said, “I’ve had no drama in my life for the past three years”. So then his having a wedding where his parents were so offended they didn’t come was “no drama” to him. Interesting.

So my mother treated me badly, which led me to speak about that in front of my teenaged children, which led my son to treat me, my husband, and my mother badly saying we are toxic and not welcome in his new drama-free life. It’s all my fault for opening my mouth and I brought it on myself.

Learning from it and moving forward. Drama free, non toxic, new me...
(I’m saying this here so I don’t say it out loud and cause another chain reaction)