Thanks everyone for the support from last night's sobbing post. I finally took klonopin at 5:30 AM and slept a lot of the day. Now I'm feeling a bit agitated again. I just have too much on my mind with Charlie's death and knowing someone I love will die sometime soon too. He's had some problems the last few days and I think that brought it up for me. I don't know.

Tonight I'm taking the klonopin a lot earlier if I have to. Last night I was hoping my gabapentin would do the trick but it did not. I may take more of it sooner tonight. Last night I took one PRN dose at 10 Pm or so and then another about 3. This time I'll take the first dose if I need it but the 2nd more like 1 if I'm still up and especially if I'm crying. Hopefully that won't happen.

I'm glad to have therapy Monday. I didn't want to talk about Charlie's death in the context of the human I love but now I need to. Hating teletherapy for this kind of thing. Tomorrow it will be 5 months since I saw my therapist in person. I haven't gone more than 3 weeks without seeing him in 14 years and without being at the center for 18 years. It feels weird. But last time teletherapy worked the whole hour for the first time so I'm praying that it works again.

Thanks again. You all mean so much to me.