I know I sound like a broken record right now. Anxiety sucks. Depression sucks. Schizophrenia sucks. I’m scared of my own existence and my ultimate ending. I want to have a piece of mind that’s all. Grounding skills... reality checking... telling the voices they’re wrong...my existence is a horror movie. I see demons lingering... spirits, mainly children, lingering too singing ring around the roses. In the hospital there was writings on the wall with blood that said die. Once looked to the mirror and saw my face deteriorate into a skull like figure. If I’m not seeing figures I’m in my head with the consent blabbing and insults to try to make me feel bad about myself and do things I don’t want to do. I’m crazy. A bit touched. But I don’t want to linger in self pity because there are those who had it worse. My mental state has decreased a lot for about 11 years... rapidly. I hope clozapine helps out.