Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags
. . .Actually, the only part of my life that I'm super stressed over right now is M. being away, and the insecurity I feel about her absence and her lack of reality acceptance. By that, I mean that she doesn't accept that she will be out for a certain amount time and stick with that, rather than the "I'll be back in a few days" repeatedly. . .
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags
. . .
I guess something that factors in is that I have nothing to talk to another therapist about except how upset I feel about M.'s continuing absence. In part, I feel that if I talk with another T it would be specifically to spite M. To let her know that she's disposable, that I really don't need her.
If I keep my August appointments I'll be doing the same thing I did in July, which is calling or being called every 3rd or 4th day with the "is she coming back yet" topic. Yes - whoops! No...maybe...could be!...ummm, not this week...
It's causing me so much stress that I'm dreaming about the uncertainty, it actually causes me to wake up because I'm anxious in my sleep.
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Hi Beth,
As you may remember, I had, and still have, a horrible negative transference to my last T, and eventually I connected it up to feelings that had been numbed out probably since childhood. Feeling that didn't change the transference a lot. I am now just somewhat more aware of how I have/had similar feelings about my life in the family when I was a child.
So, given what you have said about your transferences, I wondered if you have thought about, or have any feelings about, how much some of your distress about M might be transferential, too? Reaction to abandonment stuff like I had? Could there be anything like that in your background? Not that that helps much with how to cope with this situation currently, but maybe there's some information there that is or has been hard to know. It may be my projection, and is certainly none of my business, but there is something about the 2 comments I quoted above that strike me that way.
Please let me know if you feel I'm horning in here where it's not wanted and I apologize if that's the case.
All the talk about transference here in this forum right now -- I think we're touching on some very important stuff. I appreciate what you've been posting about.