Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Laura
Looking back I've been depressed since I was roughly 13 years old. But what if it was before then? But I hid it well? Someone once asked me at high school if I had ADHD I was really upset by this I came home and cried to my Mum. So mania/hypo-mania obviously were about back then. How did no-one realise I was in need of help. Even God didn't know. Am I just a good hider. Is it possible to be sneeky like that when your hormones are playing havoc with your mind?
If God is real and God is here for us why be evil and give us this horrible illness. I really am angry as I don't want it. I've missed my 20's and 30's due to my anger towards it and being 'ill'. Maybe I'm just meant to be hyper all the time. Maybe I don't deserve help that is given.
I guess I'm a lost cause..... if i don't get answers I need then how can i move on?
Ps on another note there is a test online called Young Mania Scale i found it through Wikipedia. Its a self assessment and they tally up your score out of 60. I got 29/60 says I'm manic. I don't know if I am or not who knows just thought I would share a bit of info with you guys
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I understand that you're angry about it, I feel the same way. This illness has stolen some of what ought to be the best years of my life, so I think you're fully justified in feeling that way.
As for nobody realizing you needed help during adolescence (and possibly younger), that same thing happened to me as well. I find that in our society, most people are remarkably unsympathetic towards kids, and adolescents in particular. Any "bad" behavior is blamed on hormones or angst, and the standard response is to punish kids or try to force them in line through some other means. I think none of the adults noticed what was going on with me because they didn't care to notice. They just wanted me to be a good teenager, shut up, and focus on getting good grades. I think that happens way too often.
I was also "diagnosed" (actually my mom forced the diagnosis) with ADHD when I was a child (I guess around 9-10 or so). I am now absolutely certain that I don't have ADHD (my Pdoc even tested for it), but back then I didn't know anything. They sent me to some sort of group therapy. I've heard that many bipolar people get mistakenly labeled as having ADHD in childhood, thought I'm not exactly sure why that is. I don't believe I was hypomanic back then, I thought I was just an enthusiastic kid.